Feeling Angry

Core Idea

Angry is the hot, tight feeling you get when something seems unfair, when someone hurts you, or when things do not go the way you expected. Anger is a normal feeling — it is not bad to feel angry, but it is important to learn safe ways to show it.

How It's Best Learned

Use puppets or stuffed animals to act out a scene where a character feels angry and talk about what happened. Have children stomp their feet or squeeze a stress ball to show how anger feels in the body. Practice saying 'I feel angry because...' instead of hitting or yelling.

Common Misconceptions

• Thinking that feeling angry means you are a bad person; anger is a normal emotion everyone experiences.
• Believing that anger always means you should hit or yell; there are safe ways to express anger.
• Assuming anger comes out of nowhere; there is usually a reason behind the feeling, even if it is hard to name.

Explainer

Anger is a real feeling that happens when something is unfair, when someone hurts you, or when things do not go the way you expected. Anger feels hot and tight inside your body, and it is a normal feeling that everyone has. You are not a bad person because you feel angry — anger is just a feeling.

Many people think that if you feel angry, you should hit, yell, or throw things. That is not true. There are many safe and kind ways to show your anger. You can squeeze a stress ball, stomp your feet, draw a picture of how you feel, or say the words "I feel angry because..." Saying your feelings with words is one of the best ways to let anger out safely.

Here is something important: anger usually has a reason, even if you do not see it right away. Maybe someone took your toy, or maybe your brother bumped you, or maybe you did not get what you wanted. When you feel angry, try to find the reason. That helps you understand yourself better and tell grown-ups or friends what you need.

Every person — kids and grown-ups — feels angry sometimes. That is okay! The important thing is learning safe ways to show it. When you feel that hot, tight feeling inside, you can take some deep breaths, squeeze something soft, stomp, or talk to someone you trust.

Anger is not something to be scared of. It is a message telling you that something matters to you. When you learn to listen to your anger and show it in safe ways, it actually helps you be stronger and kinder to yourself and others.